BEING A WOMAN
…..in today’s world, it’s like leaving the movie theatre after watching the film Wonder Woman. That feeling like I can kick ass, when it’s time to make things happen. The energy is so INVIGORATING!
However, being a woman wasn’t always this empowering. Throughout American history, women continuously had to fight for gender equality. We to this day, don’t have equal pay and opportunities in the same playing field as men. In recent years, we’ve made some progress with the women’s march, #timesup and #metoo movements. But there’s still a long way to go.
Well, at least I finally feel I am not alone. There are many women fighting the same battles, whether its something of the past or currently experiencing. Which leads you to my next topic……
Been raised by Chinese immigrant parents, I was taught to stay under the radar and mind my own business. Don’t start trouble. Just work hard and everything will pay off. So during my teenage years to early adulthood, I didn’t speak up, even when I was sexually harassed….more than once.
This was one of them….
I was eighteen working part-time after school for a Hasidic Jewish accounting firm. It was my last few days at the job, since I’ll be starting college in the fall. The level of conservativeness in the Hasidic religion, had let me to believe it was a well respected community with strong beliefs and practices. Well, I was wrong.
One afternoon I was making copies, one of the four partners Mr. B, took the opportunity to slap me on my ass when no one was in the office. I was shocked and ashamed. I did not know what to do. He pretended like it was no big deal and said “Hey what’s going on?”. Confusion had left me speechless and baffled. I didn’t know what to say. I had no one to confide in. Do I tell the police? The other partners? Will they believe me? I was conflicted and hurt. I did what I was taught to do, stay quiet. So I never spoke about it in public. Until today…..
I always felt embarrassed of it, because I didn’t know I could do anything about it, especially since it happened so many years ago. All I can do now is to share my story, to let other women know that they’re not alone. This can happen to anyone and it’s not ok to be quiet.
I don’t get angry about it anymore. I just speak up!
HAVING IT ALL:
Another part about being women in today’s world is thinking you can have it all. A happy marriage, kids, the perfect job, a big house, a size 4 hot body and the list goes on. As much as we want to say we want it all, there’s no such thing. You might look at your BFF, your sister or the other moms in your kid’s class and think they got their life together. You’re wishing you can be like them. Well, I’m not a life coach, but I can tell you the grass is NOT always greener.
I got to say I am blessed with a supportive and loving family, a nice group of friends, a good job, my blog, time to do the things I love and be happy. How do I do it? I don’t know. I just make it work. We have a great support system, Peter’s parents who are always there when we need them (thanks mom & dad), babysitters, friends and family.
There are sacrifices I have to make for all this to work for us. I can’t do everything I want to, but I make the best choices with what I have. Yes, I want to go watch a movie with a girlfriend and go shopping all day. That won’t work, because that means I don’t get to spend time with my family who I don’t see often.
Or I want the second child that I never got so lucky to have. The stars didn’t line up and I’m fine with it. I already have one kid and she’s perfect! Mama loves you Kinserelli!
The key is to quit comparing yourself to others. You don’t know their story. Perhaps they wish they had your life. Just remember to count your blessings every night and be happy with what you have, instead of what you don’t have.
There’s no better time to be a woman than today. We have the power of social media, local communities and a unity of women to share our stories. To be supportive for one another. To build a future we’re proud of to leave behind for our daughters. The future is bright!
Now if we can only elect a female president by 2020……. #Michelleforpresident
Happy International Women’s Day!