Today marks our 9th wedding anniversary, 08/08/08. That’s one year shy of a decade being married. Time definitely flies when you’re having fun, doesn’t it? Peter and I are just like any other married couple. We have ups and downs. Mostly ups, thank goodness!. We laugh, fight and do things to annoy each other. But I won’t have it any other way. He keeps me on my toes and challenges me with his crazy new ideas. There’s always something up in his sleeves, whether it’s a weekend trip to San Francisco to attend a music performance or competing in an Ironman. His spontaneity makes our marriage fun and exciting.
How we met (my version)?
We met when we were in our late 20’s. At that time I was looking for a guy to marry. I was seriously on a hunt searching for the next “bachelor”. I even told our friend Katie, who introduced us, not to waste my time if he wasn’t serious. I was tired of dating and having relationships going nowhere. I even joined a dating website and that didn’t end well. We finally met on a group date with a few friends to watch a movie. I showed up thinking it wouldn’t work out, because he was bald, white and younger than me. The characteristics I was NOT looking for in a dude.
After the group date, he convinced me to have a drink and ditch the friends. I was hesitant because 1) I do not drink alcohol and 2) I wasn’t very interested in him. But I’m easily persuadable, so I went. In my mind, at least we can be friends. All night he just won’t stop talking. I thought he must’ve been nervous or was avoiding an awkward silent moment. Later, after getting to know him, I realized he just talks a lot.
What really made me change my mind and kept me interested in him, was when I said he was “too young” for me. He responded, “I’m 27 ½. You’re not that much older.” (almost 2 years, actually). Then I laughed and found it adorable that he’s trying to convince me we weren’t that different in age, by adding a “1/2”. I also later found out that he’s just a good salesman or I’d like to call him “the master manipulator”. Basically, he “had me at 27 ½!”
While we were dating….
Interested but still not convinced he’s the one, I would call him the next few times to “hangout”. I felt like I needed to find out more about him before we went out on our first date. So I had a few friends from Hong Kong that was visiting me. I figured if he can get along with these guys, he’s in! So long story short, he hit it off with them. Even though, I’m an A.B.C. (American Born Chinese), my culture is very important to me. The person that’s going to be with me needs to be emerged and be open to learning everything about it.
Peter just surprises me every day on what he is willing to do to be with me. He’s learnt the Cantonese language, which is very difficult to speak, just so he can communicate with my parents. He embraces my family’s Chinese traditions, whether it’s paying respect to my ancestors or eating duck feet during a Chinese new year feast. For someone that didn’t grow up with duck feet as part of their meal, I say he’s a keeper!
There’s a saying “things happen when you least expect it”. In my case, it’s very true. I was looking for love desperately and imagining a future with every guy I met. Asking friends to introduce me to their single guy friends. But when I stopped looking, here comes Peter walking into my life. Since then every step in our relationship just happened seamlessly. We both went into it with open hearts and mind. It felt so natural!
I have to say there are times where we felt like we’ve hit a brick wall. But we try to remind ourselves why we were together in the first place. We set aside time to date each other and go on trips (sans kid of course). Call it “rekindling”, if you must. We grow together and as individuals, at the same time by communicating about the goals we want to achieve and how we will get there. It’s a working partnership.
We married people tend to let the daily responsibilities of job, house, chores, bills and kids take over what matters most. We need a constant reminder before all of that, there were us. All those things doesn’t matter, if there’s no “us”. Marriage is hard work. I can talk about this all day long, but I’m not an expert on martial relationships. I can only tell you about ours and what works for us.
“tis better love and lost than never love at all”
Alfred Lord Tennyson
I haven’t looked back since….
Happy anniversary my love and to many more!
Photography by Christopher Gendron